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Archive for the ‘unanswered’ Category

Scene I

They look wearied. They look tired. They are an old couple in a lone country. Their entire day is spent sitting in the living room watching TV with usual breaks to make food in between. They are unusually silent. Why are they so despondent? What is bothering them? There is something which is unsaid..something which is locked deep in their heart.

I talked to them. That brought a smile on their face. Even a small conversation seems to cheer them up. Suddenly during the conversation, they became despondent once again. Initially I thought I spoke out something wrong. However, I dint have to wait too much to find out what made them so sad.

I asked them about their son. Then the emotions rushed out from their heart like a volcano erupts after being dormant for a long time. Their son does not have enough time to spend with them. Weekdays are devoted to his work and weekends for his friends.
He does not listen to them. He does not talk to them. He bought this big house for them. They feel what this house is without his love and respect. He stays with them, but he is like a stranger!

“Our only son is a stranger to us”

Scene II

He is young. He is talented. He is vibrant. He works hard and likes to party harder. But he is not happy. Even he is not happy. What on earth makes him sad?!

One day he talked about it over a couple of drinks. He was candid and shot straight from the heart. According to him he sacrificed a lot and continues doing the same.

I asked him to elaborate. After initial hesitation, he indicated the “sacrifices” he made for his parents. They are not happy with him even he tries to do things with the best of his ability. According to him, he sacrificed his freedom staying with his parents. He can’t come back home drunk and partying the entire night. Hence he needs to stay away in the weekend with his friends. He cant do things on his own because his parents don’t like that. He doesn’t want to get married and his parents are upset due to this. He avoids them during the weekdays coz all they have to talk is about his marriage after a hard day at work.

He is trying to do everything he can. He bought a big and independent house sacrificing his dream for a Porsche.  He stays with them coz he understand that this would make them happy. Every parent would like their son to do this. He is willing to do things to keep his parents happy. However at the same time he indicated he has a life of his own. He is not happy.

“My only parents do not understand me”

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A noisy ringtone jolted me up from my deep slumber.

“Hello”, I mumbled. I was too sleepy to even open my eyes and glance at the flashing number.

Silence.

“Hello”. I uttered again, a little louder this time. There was no voice on the other side. I was about to hang up when I heard the sound of long & deep breaths. There is definitely someone on the other side. I slightly opened my eyes. I heard the breathing sound again. Its familiar, it is so much familiar! But I was unable to recollect. I let it go and asked, “Who is there”?

“Hi”, a female voice echoed.

“Hi. May I know who this is?”

“I know its been really long, but I am sure you can never forget this voice.”

I was stunned. Of course I recognized this voice.  I was too stupefied to react immediately. I waited for my nerves to calm down.

 “ I don’t know I should have called you or not, but if I wouldn’t I would have regretted my whole life. I will not play around with words and will confess with pure heart. I am sorry; I walked away from your life without giving any reasons. I dint have the courage to face you, I dint have the strength to answer your questions. Its been 3 years now and there had not been a single day I dint think about you. You there?

My voice quivered. It cracked. I managed to say yes.

“Before you ask me why I left, let me tell you that it was entirely my mistake. I judged you wrong, I judged our relationship wrong. I felt we were not at the same level. But I was too scared to tell it to you, I was afraid you will break down and I would not be able to take it. You being in front of me would have made me weak.

I never forgot you. You have always been there with me. I realized that there could be only one for me, and it is you. I want to be there with you for my entire life. Please forgive me and accept me. I know how selfish this can be. But you loved me so much and I know you still love me. Don’t you love me?”

I could hear her sobbing. I know her better than I knew myself. And I know that she really feels what she is saying. I vividly remembered how a single tear in her eyes used to affect me. I cant see her cry. I still cant see tears in her eyes.

“Please don’t cry. You know I cant see you in tears.” I finally took control of me and spoke.

“I have no issues with you. I am hearing your voice after almost 3 years. And the fact is that your voice still moved me the way it used to.”

I lost my strength. I lost my voice. I found myself in tears. I couldn’t speak.

I hung up.

I believe its too late now. But the fact still remains intact. I loved her.  Do I still love her?

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TIME_Magazine_October_27_1947_cover

When I looked at this cover page, myriad thoughts crossed my mind. Who started it? Why it happened? And most importantly, when it will end?

This is the cover page of a renowned magazine “Time” issue dated October 27, 1947.

The thoughts at the moment is not what who did what to whom. Those were the days when the religious communities forayed into complete madness. Hindus killed the Muslims who were leaving India and Muslims did the same.

There is no point in reminiscing over the past. Only if, this spilled over partition war would have been over. It never ended. Only the scope changed..changed to engulf more innocents!  

Its been ages the partition happened. New generations have come. The generation which don’t carry even a single thread of the partition personally. But how unfortunate it is, in spite of these changes the parts of 1947 event are still intact, ready to kill each other at every possible opportunity.

This cover page reflects the sad face of India partition. The Goddess holding the united India and pushing the dagger deep down inside the heart of the nation, only to spill blood! The cut which never healed and the blood never stopped flowing. Was it ever required in its first place?!

History's Biggest Migration.

History's Biggest Migration.A young refugee sits on the walls of Purana Qila, transformed into a vast refugee camp in Delhi.

Young Refugee in Delhi in 1947

Young Refugee in Delhi in 1947

 (Images Courtesy: Wikipedia)

Shock reverberates in my body when I think of the train massacre. What made the humans so inhuman that they dint realize what they were doing. Brutally murdered each other. No woman spared. Raped and killed every one of them. There are more to this which cant even stated here.

A political decision which took away thousands of lives in exchange. They did it in 1947. Then in 1992. Repeated something similar in 2002. In some form or other, you never let the scar of partition to be healed. You politicians! You all have paved this way for us. The trodden path where we don’t know when a bomb will go off killing us.

The demolition of Babri Masjid in 1992

The demolition of Babri Masjid in 1992

Bajrang Dal activist during Godhra riots

Bajrang Dal activist during Godhra riots

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And we, the common people..how foolish can we be?! How can one be swayed away to become a counterpart of such political gimmicks. How on earth one can even think that killing others will give them the sense of freedom, a belief that they did contribute to the humanity!

These pictures did evoke the disdainful facts of those horrifying blood bath everytime when a bomb took away innumerable innocent lives. And every one of us knows that this will not end, atleast not in the near future!

Rather we have elevated to a next level. Our own country-men want to further draw regional lines. Raj Thackrey with his followers want only Marathis in Maharashtra, Tamils want their own independence.

The naxalite & banned organizations like MCC, ULFA, and PWG fighting for their rights….what rights?! God knows what they want!  More killing, more extortions, more blood-bath! And they call it liberation!

Liberation from what…liberation for what! Sigh!

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Its one of those conversations which will always be incomplete, simply because the questions asked will always be unanswered. It can also be termed as one sided conversation – where one is allowed to throw questions after questions because for every answer there was one more question.

I was the silent spectator of this conversation, yeah silent I was, as I was not supposed to interfere. But even if I wanted to be, I would have found myself grappling with right words.

You don’t believe me?! Huh!! Witness this conversation and then tell me!

Girl: How can I believe you?

Boy: Coz I understand what mistake I was doing, and I can assure you that it will not be repeated again.

Girl: You say this everytime? But you repeat it again and again

Boy: You know how much I care for you. I am just worried about you. And you have always known how possessive I am. But I will change myself for you. Will never make an attempt to stop you from doing anything you want – let it to be drinking, partying every now & then, coming back at wee hours!  

Nothing is more important to me than you. And even the slight thought of you going away, it kills me! I swear from the bottom of my heart, will never do it. I assure you.

Girl: Why should I trust you?

Boy: Silence. More Silence. She is waiting for the answer.

Why should you trust me!!! Err..aahh..you should trust me..mmm..ummm.. because we have been together for 2 years now. I never cheated on you.

Girl: Dont say all these big big statements. Give me exact reason (1, 2, 3…), why should I trust you?

Boy: We have been together for so many years, wasn’t that trust. How can I provide reasons that why should you trust me!

If I jump from the fifth floor, will that be enough a reason for you to trust me

Girl: See. That is you. You have no reason to support that you will never repeat it. Stupid. Yes stupid you are. You can only think of such stupid act. I am already pissed and swamped with sorrows, and you are not helping either.

Boy Pleads again.. swears again…pleads again with more gestures..tears rolling down!

Girl: Give me reasons why should I trust you. And then I will take my decision.

Boy: I have no reasons to put forth to make you believe. Its only my love for you which I put forth for you to trust me!

Girl: If you can give me reasons to cry, then you should as well give me the reasons to trust you.

No Answer from the Boy.

Girl: What?

Boy: I am sorry. Please don’t do this. I said I assure you that it will never be repeated.

Girl: You are not sorry! You are just trying to save the situation.

By this time, I could see the real essence of the conversation. When you don’t want to accept anything, you will never accept it. The best way is to play around with words, make one more question out of the answer. Not only make it a question, but a question for which there is really no answer.

I stood up and hinted the boy that there is no point in discussing this further. He was still trying to answer, but may be then he also realized that it will be eventually turned into another unanswerable question. He looked at her with remorse and uttered “I love you. I still love you. I have loved you from the very first day I realized it. There is only one thing I can say …… I love you from the bottom of my heart! “

On our way back, the Boy answered the last question..but to me.

“Yes, I am trying to save the situation so that every morning when I wake up I don’t want to see anyone else’s face. Yes, I am trying to save the situation so that I want to be besides her every night when I come back home. Yes, I am trying to save the situation so that I can’t see myself spending my life with someone else.  Yes, I want to save the situation as I would like her to be the centre of my life.

How would you know that I am sorry until you want to accept it?! And she says that I am trying to save the situation.”

I mumbled to myself. This conversation would always be an unanswered conversation for the girl. She may be happy, atleast of the fact that she won in every question she threw and the boy din’t have any answers to them.

Well! If only she would have heard the last answer. But the question still lingers, whether she would have thrown yet another question, only to find the Boy lurching again for an answer!

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Its been quite sometime now. My patience is running off!! Why I am not getting the opportunity I am looking for?! Why is it not crossing my way! How long I have to patient?! Everyday this thought lingers in my mind. I see others sprinting away. And no matter how much I try, I am still behind.

**Excerpts (from the conversation going on between me and me)

” Hey Amrit!! Don’t loose heart..keep running!!”

Yeah…yeah!! What else,  I have no option anyway! I cant wait for some VJ to play a song, the clock to tick, the tide to turn, the sun to rise….and you say I am IMPATIENT!!

Now thats what you were losing. Where is your “never say die attitude”! You can do it man!

Yes..yes. I can do it. I have always done it. I can still do it.

Now thats the real Amrit! So what you gonna do??

I will…I will….errr…ummm….I will fight!

Havent you tried this before? Whats the outcome? You were pushed back even more!

Then what should I do..Yes. I will survive. I have recently developed this new skill. Should use it considerably.

But you have been doing this for quite sometime now. Till how long you want to survive and survive.

I cant fight..I cant even survive! Then what should I do??

Be patient Amrit. Your time will also come.

Yeah..keep on saying that. Thats how I learnt the survival skills. Now what I will learn from this?!

…………………………

(For complete conversation, log on to Amrit’s mind…but at your own risk!!)

**Courtesy: Amrit reckless mind !

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It was a daily routine, like the way we wake up everyday & perform our daily mundane duties. She religiously visits the sea shore near her home daily without fail. There was a hope in her eyes, an immortal hope that never ceased to exist. He will meet his promise and will meet her at this very place.

 

Its been several months now. She closed her eyes and her mind wandered through the past. The memories are yet so green like it happened just yesterday. How she use to hate him initially, when she caught him staring at her invariably. He came on a visit to his grandmother.

She met him at this very place. It was a lovely sunset, and she was taking a stroll. He was sitting their all alone and watching the sun disappear. They both looked at each other and then he walked to her. And then everything turned out so different when they interacted with each other. The casual talk became the casual banter; the casual banter became interesting conversations. Before they could have realized, they found each other in their arms. And then it became evident, they looked into each other eyes. There was a flame of passion, the undying love in his eyes. She melted and whispered the inevitable.

 

Next day, she found that he is leaving. There were so many unanswered questions in her mind. Their eyes met and he nodded. She could read his eyes. He will be back…yes he will come back for me!!!

 

Its been 6 months now and there have not been a single phone call from him, leave aside the hope of coming back. But she never budged, the only hope that he will come back to her kept her moving. The sun immersed in the sea, the stars came out shining. Its time for her to return now, only to come back tomorrow. She walked back with a heavy heart again, but with an undying hope that he will be back tomorrow.

 

 

 

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If you ask me honestly, I would candidly confess – I don’t know!! Then why this question?! I am not even making an attempt to seek an answer to this….okay I retreat from my statement…I want to know what is “true love” !!

Its not that I don’t understand it literally 🙂 but the term and the usage itself is so contradictory. Why do we call something as “true love”, where as the entire connotation of LOVE is piousness and truthfulness. Love is supposed to be true or else it is not love…right!!! Love itself signifies sanctity, purity and dignity.

Why do we add the word “true”?!

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