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I was walking alone down the street. There was a chill in the air with dried leaves continuously falling off the trees. One can feel the despondency in the air. Or was it my lonliness that was causing that?! I was surprised at the thought itself! No I am absolutely fine. Why should I be lonely?!

 I kept on walking. There was no soul in the vicinity. And then my thoughts wandered. Its been quite sometime, but even now I can remember everything, down to the smallest details. I relive that time often in my mind, bringing it back, and I realize when I do, I always feel a strange combination of joy and sadness. There are moments when I would like to go back and erase the sadness, but I have a feeling that if I did, I will loose the joy as well. So I let it go..take the memories as it comes.Sometimes it hurts you and sometimes it makes you happy. Most of the times it hurts!

The sky is gray and it might rain. As I move down the street, I zipped up my jacket with my hands inside the pocket. The temperature is cool and it will get worse in comig months.

With a sigh I feel it all coming back to me. I closed my eyes and can see the times we spent. It was like a flash of series in front of me – those holding hands together, snuggling up to each other, dreams we shared together, those beautiful eyes, undying passion, those casual banter, those fights and make-up, endless laugh. As if through someone else’s eyes, I see myself growing with her, growing in love.

I open my eyes and pause. I took a deep breath. I realized I was standing at the porch of a wooden house. And when I stare at the house, I know exactly where I am.

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A thought…a line..and a truth!!

“For every time I loved you and for every time I thought of not loving you anymore, I now realise that you were never mine. It started from me; it is getting over at me.”

PS. Read it somewhere long time back..dont remember the source. At that moment I saved it on my machine..which was around 6 months back. Found this while clearing my documents and files.

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Found this in one of my old diary on which I scribbled few of my deepest thoughts for someone.

Trying to forget someone you love, is like trying to remember you never met.

True love never dies as we see in our eyes. Only when we let go that we can truly say good bye.

Real loss occurs only when you loose something that you love more than yourself.

Time goes by, life goes on, and all I can think of is why you are gone.

No matter how much it will hurt me to see you, my love. All I wish is look into your eyes once again before I die.

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The moment I read this, I couldnt resist myself posting it here.

I am sure this gonna bring smile on everyone’s face whosoever reads it. So here it goes. Lets give a title to this conversation – ” The Most Inncoent & Evergreen Lovers”

 

To,

Chinki,

UKG Section A.

Dear Chinki,

I love you. My dream I see you. Everywhere you. You no, I live no. I come red shirt tomorrow. You love I, you come red frock. I wait down mango tree. You no come, I jump train. Sure come…

Yours lovely,

Rahul

Std 1 B

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Reply… by Chinki…..

Darling, your letter mama see. Papa beat me beat me so many beat me. I cry. I cry. So no come to mango tree. No jump train. I love you. See another day. I no red frock. Only green.

You love me, you love me you green shirt. Give I gift. I see you with Neha. Where you go…NO TALK TO HER.

Okay my dream also only you.

Lovely,

Chinki

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Its one of those conversations which will always be incomplete, simply because the questions asked will always be unanswered. It can also be termed as one sided conversation – where one is allowed to throw questions after questions because for every answer there was one more question.

I was the silent spectator of this conversation, yeah silent I was, as I was not supposed to interfere. But even if I wanted to be, I would have found myself grappling with right words.

You don’t believe me?! Huh!! Witness this conversation and then tell me!

Girl: How can I believe you?

Boy: Coz I understand what mistake I was doing, and I can assure you that it will not be repeated again.

Girl: You say this everytime? But you repeat it again and again

Boy: You know how much I care for you. I am just worried about you. And you have always known how possessive I am. But I will change myself for you. Will never make an attempt to stop you from doing anything you want – let it to be drinking, partying every now & then, coming back at wee hours!  

Nothing is more important to me than you. And even the slight thought of you going away, it kills me! I swear from the bottom of my heart, will never do it. I assure you.

Girl: Why should I trust you?

Boy: Silence. More Silence. She is waiting for the answer.

Why should you trust me!!! Err..aahh..you should trust me..mmm..ummm.. because we have been together for 2 years now. I never cheated on you.

Girl: Dont say all these big big statements. Give me exact reason (1, 2, 3…), why should I trust you?

Boy: We have been together for so many years, wasn’t that trust. How can I provide reasons that why should you trust me!

If I jump from the fifth floor, will that be enough a reason for you to trust me

Girl: See. That is you. You have no reason to support that you will never repeat it. Stupid. Yes stupid you are. You can only think of such stupid act. I am already pissed and swamped with sorrows, and you are not helping either.

Boy Pleads again.. swears again…pleads again with more gestures..tears rolling down!

Girl: Give me reasons why should I trust you. And then I will take my decision.

Boy: I have no reasons to put forth to make you believe. Its only my love for you which I put forth for you to trust me!

Girl: If you can give me reasons to cry, then you should as well give me the reasons to trust you.

No Answer from the Boy.

Girl: What?

Boy: I am sorry. Please don’t do this. I said I assure you that it will never be repeated.

Girl: You are not sorry! You are just trying to save the situation.

By this time, I could see the real essence of the conversation. When you don’t want to accept anything, you will never accept it. The best way is to play around with words, make one more question out of the answer. Not only make it a question, but a question for which there is really no answer.

I stood up and hinted the boy that there is no point in discussing this further. He was still trying to answer, but may be then he also realized that it will be eventually turned into another unanswerable question. He looked at her with remorse and uttered “I love you. I still love you. I have loved you from the very first day I realized it. There is only one thing I can say …… I love you from the bottom of my heart! “

On our way back, the Boy answered the last question..but to me.

“Yes, I am trying to save the situation so that every morning when I wake up I don’t want to see anyone else’s face. Yes, I am trying to save the situation so that I want to be besides her every night when I come back home. Yes, I am trying to save the situation so that I can’t see myself spending my life with someone else.  Yes, I want to save the situation as I would like her to be the centre of my life.

How would you know that I am sorry until you want to accept it?! And she says that I am trying to save the situation.”

I mumbled to myself. This conversation would always be an unanswered conversation for the girl. She may be happy, atleast of the fact that she won in every question she threw and the boy din’t have any answers to them.

Well! If only she would have heard the last answer. But the question still lingers, whether she would have thrown yet another question, only to find the Boy lurching again for an answer!

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Last month I posted one post seeking an answer to the question: What is true love? I dint receive much answers 😦 , but the answers I received were truly great 🙂 !! Thanku Arial & Pinky 🙂

The reason why I am revisiting this now is because I came across a list of answers which defines love from the best of the lot – a group of children spanning from age 4-8!! Even though my question was on a different platform but these definition of love framed in these petite children surpasses the significance of my question.

I don’t know the real source but I received this as one of those thousand forwards we get bombarded with in our mail-box. But this is really heart-touching and I am sure the answers given are broader and deeper than anyone could imagine, esp if it comes from the baby lot!!

The question was posed to a group of 4-8 year-olds – “What does love mean?” Here are the answers…and there is not one, not two, not even ten amazing answers..there are more than that…..!!

      ‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.

   So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love..’

 

                              Rebecca- age 8

 

 

       ‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.

           You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’

 

                               Billy – age 4

 

 

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’

 

                               Karl – age 5

 

 

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’

 

                              Chrissy – age 6

 

 

 ‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’

 

                               Terri – age 4

 

 

‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’

 

                               Danny – age 7

 

 

 

  ‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.

 My Mommy and Daddy are like that.. They look gross when they kiss’

 

                               Emily – age 8

 

 

 

 ‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’

 

                           Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

 

 

 

  ‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,’

 

     Nikka – age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

 

 

 

 ‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.’

 

                              Noelle – age 7

 

 

 

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’

 

                               Tommy – age 6

 

 

 

 ‘My mommy loves me more than anybody You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night..’

 

                               Clare – age 6

 

 

 

 ‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’

 

                               Elaine-age 5

 

 

 

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’

 

                               Chris – age 7

 

 

 

‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’

 

                             Mary Ann – age 4

 

 

  ‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’ (what an image)

 

                               Karen – age 7

 

 

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.’

 

                               Mark – age 6

 

 

 

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’

 

                              Jessica – age 8

 

 

 And this one is really heart-touching:

 

  Ken is a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

 

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

 

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

 

                     ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’

 

I can see your face….even I was gaped in awe and amazed!! Truly amazing, na?

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It was a daily routine, like the way we wake up everyday & perform our daily mundane duties. She religiously visits the sea shore near her home daily without fail. There was a hope in her eyes, an immortal hope that never ceased to exist. He will meet his promise and will meet her at this very place.

 

Its been several months now. She closed her eyes and her mind wandered through the past. The memories are yet so green like it happened just yesterday. How she use to hate him initially, when she caught him staring at her invariably. He came on a visit to his grandmother.

She met him at this very place. It was a lovely sunset, and she was taking a stroll. He was sitting their all alone and watching the sun disappear. They both looked at each other and then he walked to her. And then everything turned out so different when they interacted with each other. The casual talk became the casual banter; the casual banter became interesting conversations. Before they could have realized, they found each other in their arms. And then it became evident, they looked into each other eyes. There was a flame of passion, the undying love in his eyes. She melted and whispered the inevitable.

 

Next day, she found that he is leaving. There were so many unanswered questions in her mind. Their eyes met and he nodded. She could read his eyes. He will be back…yes he will come back for me!!!

 

Its been 6 months now and there have not been a single phone call from him, leave aside the hope of coming back. But she never budged, the only hope that he will come back to her kept her moving. The sun immersed in the sea, the stars came out shining. Its time for her to return now, only to come back tomorrow. She walked back with a heavy heart again, but with an undying hope that he will be back tomorrow.

 

 

 

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