Posted in personal, Relationship, thoughts, tagged hope, love, me & myslef, Relationship, self talk, thoughts, true love on October 24, 2009|
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I was walking alone down the street. There was a chill in the air with dried leaves continuously falling off the trees. One can feel the despondency in the air. Or was it my lonliness that was causing that?! I was surprised at the thought itself! No I am absolutely fine. Why should I be lonely?!
I kept on walking. There was no soul in the vicinity. And then my thoughts wandered. Its been quite sometime, but even now I can remember everything, down to the smallest details. I relive that time often in my mind, bringing it back, and I realize when I do, I always feel a strange combination of joy and sadness. There are moments when I would like to go back and erase the sadness, but I have a feeling that if I did, I will loose the joy as well. So I let it go..take the memories as it comes.Sometimes it hurts you and sometimes it makes you happy. Most of the times it hurts!
The sky is gray and it might rain. As I move down the street, I zipped up my jacket with my hands inside the pocket. The temperature is cool and it will get worse in comig months.
With a sigh I feel it all coming back to me. I closed my eyes and can see the times we spent. It was like a flash of series in front of me – those holding hands together, snuggling up to each other, dreams we shared together, those beautiful eyes, undying passion, those casual banter, those fights and make-up, endless laugh. As if through someone else’s eyes, I see myself growing with her, growing in love.
I open my eyes and pause. I took a deep breath. I realized I was standing at the porch of a wooden house. And when I stare at the house, I know exactly where I am.
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They look wearied. They look tired. They are an old couple in a lone country. Their entire day is spent sitting in the living room watching TV with usual breaks to make food in between. They are unusually silent. Why are they so despondent? What is bothering them? There is something which is unsaid..something which is locked deep in their heart.
I talked to them. That brought a smile on their face. Even a small conversation seems to cheer them up. Suddenly during the conversation, they became despondent once again. Initially I thought I spoke out something wrong. However, I dint have to wait too much to find out what made them so sad.
I asked them about their son. Then the emotions rushed out from their heart like a volcano erupts after being dormant for a long time. Their son does not have enough time to spend with them. Weekdays are devoted to his work and weekends for his friends.
He does not listen to them. He does not talk to them. He bought this big house for them. They feel what this house is without his love and respect. He stays with them, but he is like a stranger!
“Our only son is a stranger to us”
He is young. He is talented. He is vibrant. He works hard and likes to party harder. But he is not happy. Even he is not happy. What on earth makes him sad?!
One day he talked about it over a couple of drinks. He was candid and shot straight from the heart. According to him he sacrificed a lot and continues doing the same.
I asked him to elaborate. After initial hesitation, he indicated the “sacrifices” he made for his parents. They are not happy with him even he tries to do things with the best of his ability. According to him, he sacrificed his freedom staying with his parents. He can’t come back home drunk and partying the entire night. Hence he needs to stay away in the weekend with his friends. He cant do things on his own because his parents don’t like that. He doesn’t want to get married and his parents are upset due to this. He avoids them during the weekdays coz all they have to talk is about his marriage after a hard day at work.
He is trying to do everything he can. He bought a big and independent house sacrificing his dream for a Porsche. He stays with them coz he understand that this would make them happy. Every parent would like their son to do this. He is willing to do things to keep his parents happy. However at the same time he indicated he has a life of his own. He is not happy.
“My only parents do not understand me”
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Its been two weeks now in this beautiful country. The weather is erratic here with sometimes bright and sunny in the morning, sometimes raining, chilling windy and then hot again; even though it is getting colder day by day. The weekdays are real hectic with work on full swing and still struggling with host of paper-works pending to claim my legal status here.
Weekends have been helluva fun. It feels so great if you have cousins around in a new country. Weekend gateways with breath-taking experiences and sight-seeing have left me craving for more. I am wondering what about this weekend! Another sight-seeing?! Might be..lets see.
I have never witnessed anything as beautiful as the skyline of Manhattan in evening. We took a ferry ride from one of the island which transported us to Manhattan crossing the Hudson River. I was completely awed. Huge and mammoth buildings with twinkling lights and a brightly lit Brooklyn Bridge, the view was mind blowing. A thought did linger in my mind, how much better it would have been with the WTC standing tall and proud.
Hold on..this is not enough. The ferry took the path very close to the Statue of Liberty. And there it was, the symbol of the USA. Wow! Beautiful! No matter how much I try to do justice with words…it will not be enough to reflect what I saw.
Oh..hold on again! 😉 Then I went to the Wall Street. For me I hold a special place for Wall Street as my job requires me to make these banks our customers. Plus, I always wished and wonder if I would have been a banker at Wall Street.
The euphoria seems to got over when we had to rush back to catch the last ferry back to the island. But then I can never erase that Manhattan skyline picture ever from my mind.
On the other front..I am little settled in terms of accommodation. I have shifted to a paying guest with a Gujrati family. They seem to be a nice and friendly people. Lets see how it goes in near future. And they are providing me lunch and dinner as well during the weekdays. The first day itself, everyone has become a fan of paav-bhaaji made by Aunty.
BTW…there is a huge Diwali sale going on here. Anyone interested?!! 😉
And I promise..next time my post would be better rather than these vague updates here and there. 🙂
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